Is there anything i can put on my hair?

mix tobasco, mayo (not light mayo), wet alpo, laundry detergent (preferably tide, but others will work), toothpaste, g jelly, and a good dark beer together in equal protions (about 12 fluid oz of each. wash your hair with this, twice a day for 7 straight days. make sure to leave the mix out in your bathroom for the 7 days, as ti sits out it becomes better for your hair (don't refrigerate it). come the morning of the 8th day, your hair will be looking amazing.